Went out to dinner (for sushi and Thai) last night with friends and ate so much I felt bloated. Trying to figure out why I do that. Some part of it is that I can't bear to waste food. I grew up in the era of "clean your plate." I remember lectures from my dad on how there were starving children in other parts of the world and owed it to them to appreciate the food I had. Some of it is about loving to cook and make really good food and the joy of sharing it with others.
This morning somehow I am down 2 lbs from yesterday. I should feel good about that, however, my jeans are still too tight. And I know those 2 lbs will creep back somewhere. Over the past 2 years I have put on too much weight. Some of it is the desk job making me spend more time sitting at the computer. Some if it is sitting in front of the TV where running to the refrigerator on the commercial break gets to be a habit.
Whatever it is I still want to lose 20 lbs. And cleaning my plate at the restaurant is not going to help.
Last night my friend Michelle mentioned she feels that she does "binge eating"--the habit of just eating because it's there, because your taste-buds are bored, not because you need food. Binge eaters eat because they are stressed and want to feel good and, lets face it, food tastes good. I don't think I eat because I feel stressed, but I know I am not overeating because I need food. To be honest, I can't remember the last time I felt hunger pains or felt my stomach rumbling.
My friend Lisa talks about "Mindful Eating." The idea that you choose to eat deliberately--for nourishment, for the sensation of taste, for the beauty of the food and the joy of the moment. I like that. I was thinking I need to pay more attention to whether I am eating out of boredom or out of a real need for food. I like that concept. I need to remember to savor the food, not wolf it down like I am starving.
Earlier this year I started keeping a food diary at Fat Secret. This is something Steve's nutritionist told him to do. Just to be aware of what you eat and drink. I was really faithful with it for a while, then in August I got lazy and and busy and just didn't. I'm going back to it again, but I have to admit I don't know if it helps to be aware of the calories in all the foods I eat. I also find the sheer caloric count in prepared foods disturbing. Why do restaurants serve such large portions? Why do I still feel the need to clean my plate after all these years?
I need to ask myself more often if I am hungry or if my taste-buds are just bored.